Do you recall the other night that I distinctly saidYou might serve as my escort at the next town fair?Well, I'm afraid there's someone who I must invite in place of youSomeone who plainly is beyond compareThat Frenchman's power is more tremendousThan I have ever seen anywhereAnd when a man is that stupendousHe, by right, should take me to the fairYour majesty, let me tilt with him and smite himDon't refuse me so abruptly, I implore!Oh, give me the opportunity to fight himAnd Gaul will be divided once more!You'll bash and thrash him?I'll smash and mash himYou'll give him trouble?He will be rubbleA mighty whack? His skull will crackWell, then you may take me to the fairIf you do all the things you promiseIn fact, my heart would break should you not take me to the fairI have some rather painful news relative to the subjectWho's to be beside me at the next court ballYou were the chosen one, I know but as traditionIt should go to the unquestioned champion in the hallAnd I'm convinced that splendid FrenchmanCan easily conquer one and allAnd besting all our local henchmenHe should sit beside me at the ballI beg of you, mam, with hold your invitationI swear to you this challenge will be metAnd when I have finished up the operationI'll serve him to your highness en brochetteYou'll pierce right through him?I'll barbecue himA wicked thrust?'Twill be dust to dustFrom fore to aft? He'll feel a draftWell, then you may sit by me at the ballIf you demolish him in battleIn fact, I know I'd cry were you not by me at the ballDidn't I promise that you may guide me to LondonOn the day that I go up to judge the cattle show?As it is quite a nasty ride there must be someone at my sideWho'll be defending me from beast and foeSo when I choose whom I prefer goI take the strongest knight I knowAnd young du Lac seems strongest, ergoHe should take me to the cattle showYour Majesty can't believe this blustering prattleLet him prove it with a sword or lance insteadI promise you, when I've done this Gaul in battleHis shoulders will be lonesome for his headYou'll disconnect him?I'll vivisect himYou'll open-wide him?I'll subdivide himOh, dear, dear, dear, dear, dearThen you may guide me to the showIf you can carry out your programIn fact, I'd grieve inside should you not guide me to the showMilady, we shall put an end toThat Galic bag of noise and nerveWhen we do all that we intend toHe'll be a plate of French Hors D'oeuvresI do applaud your noble goalsNow let us see if you achieve themAnd if you do, then you will be the three who go to the ballTo the show and take me to the fair
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