KATE MONSTER(spoken)Finally! I get to teach a whole lesson all by myself!And I'm gonna teach something relevant, somethingModern -- the internet!(sung)The internet is really really great.TREKKIE MONSTERFor porn!KATE MONSTERI got a fast connection so I didn't have to wait.TREKKIE MONSTERFor porn!KATE MONSTERThere's always some new site.TREKKIE MONSTERFor porn!KATE MONSTERI browse all day and night.TREKKIE MONSTERFor porn!KATE MONSTERIt's like I'm surfing at the speed of light.TREKKIE MONSTERFor porn!KATE MONSTER(spoken)Trekkie!TREKKIE MONSTER(sung)The internet is for porn! The internet is for porn!Why do you think the net was born?Porn! Porn! Porn!KATE MONSTER(spoken)Trekkie! What are you doing?TREKKIE MONSTERHello, Kate Monster.KATE MONSTERYou are ruining my song.TREKKIE MONSTEROh, me sorry. Me no mean to.KATE MONSTERWell, if you wouldn't mind, please, beingQuiet for a minute so I can finish?TREKKIE MONSTEROkey-dokey.KATE MONSTERGood.(sung)I'm glad we have this new technology.TREKKIE MONSTERFor porn. (oop!)KATE MONSTERWhich gives us untold opportunity.TREKKIE MONSTERFor porn. (ooops, sorry!)KATE MONSTERRight from your own desktop...TREKKIE MONSTERFor p----.KATE MONSTERYou can research, browse and shop...Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop!TREKKIE MONSTERFor porn!KATE MONSTERTrekkie!TREKKIE MONSTERThe internet is for porn!The internet is for porn!The internet is for porn!Me up all night honking meHorn to porn, porn, porn!KATE MONSTER(spoken)That's gross! You're a pervert!TREKKIE MONSTERAhh, sticks and stones, Kate Monster.KATE MONSTERNo, really, you're a pervert! Normal peopleDon't sit at home and look at porn on the internet!TREKKIE MONSTEROhhhhh?KATE MONSTERWhat?TREKKIE MONSTERYou have no idea. Ready, normal people?BRIANReady!GARY COLEMANReady!RODReady!TREKKIE MONSTERLemme hear it!(sung)GUYSThe internet is for porn.PRINCETONSorry, Kate!GUYSThe internet is for porn.PRINCETONI masturbate!TREKKIE MONSTERAll these guys unzip their flies for...GUYSPorn! Porn! Porn!(spoken)KATE MONSTERThe internet is not for porn!Hold on a second!TREKKIE MONSTERWha?KATE MONSTERNow, I happen to know for a fact that you, Rod,Check your portfolio and trade stocks online.RODThat's correct.KATE MONSTERAnd Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com!BRIANSure.KATE MONSTERAnd Gary, you keep selling your possessions on eBay!GARY COLEMANYes, I do!KATE MONSTERAnd Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card.PRINCETONTrue.TREKKIE MONSTERBut Kate... what you think he do after, hmmm?PRINCETONYeah.KATE MONSTEREwww!(sung)GUYSThe internet is for porn.The internet is for porn.Grab your dick and double clickFor porn! Porn! Porn!Poooorn!Poooorn!The internet is for,Internet is for,Internet is for porn!KATE(spoken simultaneously)Gross! I hate porn! I hate men!I'm leaving! I hate the internet!
Songs by Stephanie D'Abruzzo
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