There once was a boy named Gimmesome Roy. He was nothing like me or you.'Cause laying back and getting high was all he cared to do.As a kid, he sat in the cellar, sniffing airplane glue.And then he smoked bananas -- which was then the thing to do.He tried aspirin in Coca-Cola, breathed helium on the sly,And his life was just one endless search to find that perfect high.But grass just made him want to lay back and eat chocolate-chip pizza all night,And the great things he wrote while he was stoned looked like shit in the morning light.And speed just made him rap all day, reds just laid him back,And Cocaine Rose was sweet to his nose, but the price nearly broke his back.He tried PCP and THC, but they didn't quite do the trick,And poppers nearly blew his heart and mushrooms made him sick.Acid made him see the light, but he couldn't remember it long.And hashish was just a little too weak, and smack was a lot too strong,And Quaaludes made him stumble, and booze just made him cry,Till he heard of a cat named Baba Fats who knew of the perfect high.Now, Baba Fats was a hermit cat who lived up in Nepal,High on a craggy mountaintop, up a sheer and icy wall."But hell," says Roy, "I'm a healthy boy, and I'll crawl or climb or fly,But I'll find that guru who'll give me the clue as to what's the perfect high."So out and off goes Gimmesome Roy to the land that knows no time,Up a trail no man could conquer to a cliff no man could climb.For fourteen years he tries that cliff, then back down again he slidesThen sits -- and cries -- and climbs again, pursuing the perfect high.He's grinding his teeth, he's coughing blood, he's aching and shaking and weak,As starving and sore and bleeding and tore, he reaches the mountain peak.And his eyes blink red like a snow-blind wolf, and he snarls the snarl of a rat,As there in perfect repose and wearing no clothes -- sits the godlike Baba Fats."What's happening, Fats?" says Roy with joy, "I've come to state my biz.I hear you're hip to the perfect trip. Please tell me what it is.For you can see," says Roy to he, "that I'm about to die,So for my last ride, Fats, how can I achieve the perfect high?""Well, dog my cats!" says Baba Fats. "here's one more burnt-out soul,Who's looking for some alchemist to turn his trip to gold.But you won't find it in no dealer's stash, or on no druggist's shelf.Son, if you would seek the perfect high -- find it in yourself.""Why, you jive motherfucker!" screamed Gimmesome Roy, "I've climbed through rain and sleet,I've lost three fingers off my hands and four toes off my feet!I've braved the lair of the polar bear and tasted the maggot's kiss.Now, you tell me the high is in myself. What kind of shit is this?My ears 'fore they froze off," says Roy, "had heard all kind of crap,But I didn't climb for fourteen years to listen to that sophomore rap.And I didn't crawl up here to hear that the high is on the natch,So you tell me where the real stuff is or I'll kill your guru ass!""Ok, OK," says Baba Fats, "you're forcing it out of me.There is a land beyond the sun that's known as Zaboli.A wretched land of stone and sand where snakes and buzzards scream,And in this devil's garden blooms the mystic Tzu-Tzu tree.And every ten years it blooms one flower as white as the Key West sky,And he who eats of the Tzu-Tzu flower will know the perfect high.For the rush comes on like a tidal wave and it hits like the blazing sun.And the high, it lasts a lifetime and the down don't ever come.But the Zaboli land is ruled by a giant who stands twelve cubits high.With eyes of red in his hundred heads, he waits for the passers-by.And you must slay the red-eyed giant, and swim the River of Slime,Where the mucous beasts, they wait to feast on those who journey by.And if you survive the giant and the beasts and swim that slimy sea,There's a blood-drinking witch who sharpens her teeth as she guards that Tzu-Tzu tree.""To hell with your witches and giants," laughs Roy. "To hell with the beasts of the sea.As long as the Tzu-Tzu flower blooms, some hope still blooms for me."And with tears of joy in his snow-blind eye, Roy hands the guru a five,Then back down the icy mountain he crawls, pursuing that perfect high."Well, that is that," says Baba Fats, sitting back down on his stone,Facing another thousand years of talking to God alone."It seems, Lord", says Fats, "it's always the same, old men or bright-eyed youth,It's always easier to sell them some shit than it is to give them the truth."
Songs by Shel Silverstein
(Pour Me Another) Tequila Sheila - Shel Silverstein$100,000 in Pennies - Shel Silverstein25 Minutes To Go - Shel SilversteinA Couple More Years - Shel SilversteinA Front Row Seat To Hear Ole Johnny Sing - Shel SilversteinA Front Row Seat to Hear Ole Johnny Sing [*] - Shel SilversteinAcapulco Goldie - Shel SilversteinAlimoney (Also recorded as "Alimony") - Shel SilversteinAll About You - Shel SilversteinAll The Time In The World - Shel SilversteinAphrodisiac - Shel SilversteinBack Home In Huntsville Again - Shel SilversteinBeans Taste Fine - Shel SilversteinBetter Not Ask Me - Shel SilversteinBeware Of Lovers - Shel SilversteinBigtime - Shel SilversteinBlue Eyes - Shel SilversteinBoa Constrictor - Shel SilversteinBottomless Well - Shel SilversteinBoy Named Sue - Shel SilversteinBread Upon The Waters - Shel SilversteinBury Me In My Shades - Shel SilversteinCarry Me, Carrie - Shel SilversteinCentaur - Shel SilversteinChanging of the Seasons - Shel SilversteinCivil War Song - Shel SilversteinCloudy Sky - Shel SilversteinCornflakes With Sugar And Teardrops - Shel SilversteinCover Of The Rolling Stone - Shel SilversteinDaddy, What If? - Shel SilversteinDance To It - Shel SilversteinDate In Dallas - Shel SilversteinDaylight Dreamer - Shel SilversteinDiet Song - Shel SilversteinDirty Feet - Shel SilversteinDrain My Brain - Shel SilversteinDrop The Bomb - Shel SilversteinDrunk And Crazy - Shel SilversteinEverybody Got Some But Me (Rauncy Playboy Version) - Shel SilversteinEverybody Got Some But Me (Tame Recorded Version) - Shel SilversteinFather Of A Boy Named Sue - Shel SilversteinFebruary Snow - Shel SilversteinFirst Battalion - Shel SilversteinFloobie Doobie Doo - Shel SilversteinFood Blues - Shel SilversteinGet Away - Shel SilversteinGet My Rocks Off - Shel SilversteinGo Back, Learn To Use That Thing - Shel SilversteinGoodnight Little House Plant - Shel SilversteinGoodnight, Little Houseplant - Shel SilversteinGotta Get Rid Of This Band - Shel SilversteinGreasy Grit Gravy - Shel SilversteinGrizzly Bear - Shel SilversteinHamlet As Told On The Street - Shel SilversteinHandy Man - Shel SilversteinHave Another Espresso - Shel SilversteinHelp Me, Mama - Shel SilversteinHey Nelly Nelly! - Shel SilversteinHey, Lady Godiva - Shel SilversteinHoodoo Voodoo Lady - Shel SilversteinI Call That True Love - Shel SilversteinI Gave Her Comfort - Shel SilversteinI Got Stoned and I Missed It - Shel SilversteinI Hear America Singing - Shel SilversteinI Never Got To Know Her - Shel SilversteinI Once Knew A Woman - Shel SilversteinIn The Hills of Shiloh - Shel SilversteinInside A Lion - Shel SilversteinIt Does Not Pay To Be Hip - Shel SilversteinJaded - Shel SilversteinJennifer Johnson and Me - Shel SilversteinJudy - Shel SilversteinJune 25th At The 4th Of July - Shel SilversteinJungle To The Zoo - Shel SilversteinJust Came Down For The Weekend - Shel SilversteinKick It Again - Shel SilversteinKilled By A Coconut - Shel SilversteinKiss It Away - Shel SilversteinLiberated Lady 1999 - Shel SilversteinLittle Green Buttons - Shel SilversteinLiving Legend - Shel SilversteinLiz - Shel SilversteinLullabys, Legends And Lies - Shel SilversteinMarie Laveaux - Shel SilversteinMasochistic Baby - Shel SilversteinMe And Jimmie Rodgers - Shel SilversteinMermaid - Shel SilversteinMichaelangelo - Shel SilversteinMidnight Sunshine - Shel SilversteinModern Talk - Shel SilversteinMonterey Jack - Shel SilversteinMore Like The Movies - Shel SilversteinMountain Mary - Shel SilversteinMy Next Impersonation - Shel SilversteinNever Be This Young Again - Shel SilversteinNever Bite A Married Woman On The Thigh - Shel SilversteinNumbers - Shel SilversteinOh, You Engineer - Shel SilversteinOn The Way To The Bottom - Shel SilversteinParanoid - Shel SilversteinPathetic Way Of Getting Over Me - Shel SilversteinPaul - Shel SilversteinPeanut Butter Sandwich - Shel SilversteinPeanut-Butter Sandwich - Shel SilversteinPenicillin Penny - Shel SilversteinPlastic - Shel SilversteinPolly In A Porny - Shel SilversteinPut A Little Bit On Me - Shel SilversteinPut Another Log On The Fire - Shel SilversteinQuaaludes Again - Shel SilversteinQueen Of The Silver Dollar - Shel SilversteinRaquel Welch - Shel SilversteinRed-Neck Hippie Romance - Shel SilversteinRest Awhile - Shel SilversteinRings Of Grass - Shel SilversteinRock & Roll Hotel - Shel SilversteinRoland The Roadie And Gertrude The Groupie - Shel SilversteinRow, Row, Row - Shel SilversteinSahra Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garb... - Shel SilversteinSausalito Witch - Shel SilversteinScum Of The Earth - Shel SilversteinShow It At The Beach - Shel SilversteinSing Me A Rainbow - Shel SilversteinSing Us Some Of The Old Songs - Shel SilversteinSix Days Back At Home - Shel SilversteinSo Good To So Bad - Shel SilversteinSomebody Stole My Rig - Shel SilversteinSomeone Ate The Baby (Dreadful) - Shel SilversteinStacy Brown Got Two - Shel SilversteinStanding On The Outside Of Your Shelter - Shel SilversteinStill Gonna Die - Shel SilversteinSweetest Of All - Shel SilversteinTesting The Bomb - Shel SilversteinThat Plane - Shel SilversteinThe Avocado Tree - Shel SilversteinThe Ballad of Lucy Jordan - Shel SilversteinThe Clam - Shel SilversteinThe Danger Of A Stranger - Shel SilversteinThe Devil And Billy Markham - Shel SilversteinThe Diet - Shel SilversteinThe Diet Song - Shel SilversteinThe Father Of The Boy Named Sue - Shel SilversteinThe Giving Tree - Shel SilversteinThe Golden Kiss - Shel SilversteinThe Great Conch Train Robbery - Shel SilversteinThe Great Lakes Song - Shel SilversteinThe Lady With The Torch - Shel SilversteinThe Man Who Got No Sign - Shel SilversteinThe Man Who Turns The Damn Thing Off And On - Shel SilversteinThe Mermaid - Shel SilversteinThe Mermaid Of Ontario - Shel SilversteinThe Monkey And The Elephant - Shel SilversteinThe Peace Proposal - Shel SilversteinThe Perfect Wave - Shel SilversteinThe Radio - Shel SilversteinThe Slitheree-Dee - Shel SilversteinThe Smoke Off - Shel SilversteinThe Ugliest Man in Town - Shel SilversteinThe Unemployment Line - Shel SilversteinThe Winner - Shel SilversteinThe Wonderful Soup Stone - Shel SilversteinThey Held Me Down - Shel SilversteinThirteen Tons of Ice Cream - Shel SilversteinThis Guitar Is For Sale - Shel SilversteinThree-Legged Man - Shel SilversteinThumbsucker - Shel SilversteinTime - Shel SilversteinTruck Driver, Truck Driver - Shel SilversteinTrue Story - Shel SilversteinTrue Story [#][*] - Shel SilversteinTurn On The World - Shel SilversteinUgliest Man In Town - Shel SilversteinUncle Don - Shel SilversteinUp On The Mountain - Shel SilversteinVanilla - Shel SilversteinVegas - Shel SilversteinVegematic - Shel SilversteinWarm And Free - Shel SilversteinWhat Have You Dont For Me Lately? - Shel SilversteinWhen She Cries - Shel SilversteinWhiplash Will - Shel SilversteinWhistlers And Jugglers - Shel SilversteinWith His Mouth Full Of Food - Shel SilversteinYellow-Haired Woman - Shel SilversteinYes, Mr. Rodgers - Shel SilversteinYowzah! - Shel Silverstein
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