[VISUAL PLAYING "DEATH BY NUMBERS"]*******[PLAY SONG "FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR" AT THIS POINT]*******INT. HOSPITAL - DAY[VISUAL]The Boy wakes up. He's in a gown. His eyes feel heavy. The TV is on in his room. "Golden Girls" to be specific. One of the ladies just said something funny cause there's a lot of laughterSitcom laughs always freaked him out. Because most of those people are dead. Those are ghost laughs. Laughs that are supposed to be gone forever linger on earth after every mid 90s joke about teenage sex or someone saying "don't go there". Looking for their mouths, never finding them because they're gone. The laughs don't feel good because they're dead laughs. Those laughs aren't what they stood for anymore. They've been reappropriated. Now they're just sounds monkey descendants make when amused to cue other monkey descendants when to make the sounds at home...my eyes feel heavyA nurse comes in WHITE GUY NURSE: Hello Mr.[EDIT]. How are you feeling?THE BOY: Like I'm about to get talked to by someone about- (gestures) All thisNurse gives a "yep" look WHITE GUY NURSE: You're friends brought you in-THE BOY: They're not my friendsWHITE GUY NURSE: I don't think they'd like you saying thatTHE BOY: Doesn't matter. It's the truth. But also, they know. We're not friends. There's a mutual benefit to our relationship, but I can't trust them for shitWHITE GUY NURSE: Then why save you?THE BOY: Cause their lives are far easier with me around. It's survivalWHITE GUY NURSE: I think you should talk to someoneTHE BOY: We're talkingWHITE GUY NURSE: A professionalTHE BOY: Why? You don't care. You're not gonna make sure I do. (then) Our lives aren't precious, manSilence. The Nurse begins to clean up WHITE GUY NURSE: You done?THE BOY: I was trying to beWHITE GUY NURSE: No you weren't. Cause, guess what? It's not hard to doNurse leavesINT. WAITING ROOM - LATER THAT DAYThe Boy walks out of the double doors. Steve, Swank, and Fam are sitting there. They look up wearily THE BOY: I don't wanna talk. Let's just go be awkward and quiet together at Chipotle. Alright?They all just stare. Swank gets up slowly and walks over SWANK: Man...we didn't know if we should wait or tell you later, manThe Boy makes a ["WHAT?" EMOJI] face SWANK (CONT'D): Man...your pops died, man. Got the callSilence THE BOY: Okay(hum of a jet engine...)*******[PLAY SONG "ZEALOTS OF STOCKHOLM" AT THIS POINT]*******INT. JET PLANE - EVENINGThe Boy lays his head against the plane window, the oil from his hair leaving grease smudges all over the windowHis father died in Stockholm. A family member was needed. Didn't realize that they were each other's only family til this very moment. When you lose that, you basically lose most of your memories, at least the accuracy of your own memoriesHe wanted to be crematedThe Boy didn't really know anyone in Stockholm, but he also didn't want to be in his hotel room with his father for a day. Even if he was just ashes. So he decided to search through his followers for someone from SwedenSome girl named "Hello_Pity_" Dm'd him back and they were supposed to meet up after all the whatever he had to do. Her profile bio said she was half french. She looked pretty in her avi: an inverted Hello Kitty. But that really doesn't mean anything at all, especially since her instagram was blocked, which is something he's learned not to trust at allSo he looked through her tweets, figured out a night she went to a club, used one of his dummy profiles and pretended that they'd met at the club that night. She had trouble remembering because, according to her feed, she was "fuckin turnt, [CRAZY TONGUE OUT EMOJI] lol". She added this made up dude as a friend on Facebook. Now The Boy could see her picturesThe rest of her pictures confirmed she was indeed prettyThis girl loves Justin Bieber though. New Justin Bieber. The "fuck you" Bieber. She loves Justin Bieber in the way you love that girl on Maury who's like "my favorite flavor popsicle is DICK!", which is close to sincere love, but nowhere near it at the same timeINT. STRANGE OFFICE - NIGHTThe Boy is sitting at a desk, across from a solemn man. An urn sits on the left side of the deskThe man slides it over to The Boy SOLEMN MAN: I'm sorry for your lossSilence. Don't you have to ask someone before you cremate their father? I don't know how these things work SOLEMN MAN (CONT'D): These were found with himHe gives The Boy a large brown paper bagINT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHTThe Boy vapes on the foot of his bed. He's DMing back and forth with "Hello_Pity_" whose real name is Alyssa thegoldmolar: where u atHello_Pity_: bar called box. meet u here?thegoldmolar: yeahHello_Pity_: u should meet my boyfriend. he loves youWeird thegoldmolar: sureHello_Pity_: [CRYING LAUGH EMOJI] LOL. Don't worry. It's not like thatthegoldmolar: wdymHello_Pity_: [CRAZY TONGUE OUT EMOJI] see u soonHe puts his phone downEXT. STOCKHOLM STREETS - NIGHTThere's a buzz going on. Very pretty people walk hand in hand on the street. There are people saying things, giving opinions, feeling interesting. Everyone has a purpose tonight. It's a great timeA couple walk by: SUPER HANDSOME GUY: Swedish blah blah blah roscoe's wetsuit hahahaha!SUPER PRETTY GIRL: blah blah, swedish blah blah roscoe's wetsuit!The Boy walks up to a pink, glowing, but very discreet sign that says "box". There's a big bald guy standing outside with no hat. There's steam coming off his headA girl is standing outside smoking, at least trying to. She can't seem to get the cigarette lit. It's Alyssa THE BOY: HeyALYSSA: Ah! It's youShe gives him a kiss on both cheeks ALYSSA (CONT'D): Fancy meeting you like this, huh?THE BOY: I don't know what you meanShe puts out her cigarette. After two big puffs ALYSSA: Let's goTHE BOY: Didn't you want me to meet your boyfriend?ALYSSA: Who? That guy?She points to a corner of the building, a few steps from the front. A guy with long blonde hair (her boyfriend?)is making out with a girl in the cold THE BOY: What am I getting into?ALYSSA: Nothing. You're getting into nothingCUT TO:EXT. STOCKHOLM STREETS - CONTINUOUSThe Boy and Alyssa walk slowly through the streets. It's very cold, so they're the only ones doing that ALYSSA: What made you DM me?THE BOY: I don't know anyone hereALYSSA: Then why are you here?THE BOY: My dad died. I have to pick him upALYSSA: R O U G H. How?THE BOY: Doesn't matter at this pointALYSSA: I know right? It's always "how'd he die?" Like if you know all the ways, you'll avoid it. SillyShe shivers ALYSSA (CONT'D): I don't believe in small talk. What's the longest relationship you've been in?THE BOY: Five yearsALYSSA: Wow. What happened?THE BOY: I'm still in itALYSSA: Oh?THE BOY: She does private web shows. We're not together. But it's a relationship, for sureALYSSA: I don't get itTHE BOY: I used to watch her online a while back. Then she quit and started doing private shows. Then it just started turning into talking. MostlyALYSSA: WooooaahTHE BOY: Wha?ALYSSA: You're paying her to be your girlfriend or friend or whateverTHE BOY: Yes. But most people are paying for friends one way or anotherALYSSA: NoTHE BOY: Your boyfriend is making out with another girl right now. You don't really have room to judgeALYSSA: I trust that I can never trust him. We're clear on thatTHE BOY: Then why have him at all?ALYSSA: Because he's honest. And I like that. He doesn't lie to either of us. That's special to meINT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT[VISUAL]The two are sitting on the bed staring at the urn on the table ALYSSA: So that's your dadTHE BOY: That's my dad. That's what's left of himALYSSA: You guys close?THE BOY: NoALYSSA: You wanna talk about itTHE BOY: NoSilence THE BOY (CONT'D): I'm going to make a drinkALYSSA: AlrightThe Boy gets up and goes into the living room. While he's in there, Alyssa gets up, takes the urn, and walks out of the room. The Boy hears the door slam THE BOY: Alyssa?CUT TO:*******[PLAY SONG "URN" AT THIS POINT]*******EXT. HOTEL - NIGHTThe Boy runs out of the front doors. His breath, clouding in the night. He looks both ways and catches Alyssa turning a corner. He runs to the corner and meets her on the other side THE BOY: What's going onALYSSA: Let's get rid of it. It's just bad for youTHE BOY: You have a TON of nerve judging me and my father's relationship, so much so, you just walk out with his ashes? I feel like what you're doing is against the law, but much like the fact he was cremated before I arrived, I don't know if it's illegal. I'm still pissed thoughALYSSA: We're gonna do this togetherThe Boy is pissed. He's trying not to blow up ALYSSA (CONT'D): I had a sister. I did this when she diedTHE BOY: Yes. That gives you the rightAlyssa digs in her pocket and pulls out her phone. She turns it on and the background is Alyssa and a girl that looks exactly like her. The Boy takes the phone THE BOY (CONT'D): TwinsALYSSA: YesTHE BOY: I know we agreed that it's dumb to ask since we're all headed that way anyway, but-ALYSSA: Brain cancer. It was badSilence ALYSSA (CONT'D): So crazyShe LOLs. They're still walking this entire time. They stop at the water. They stand there making small clouds for a moment ALYSSA (CONT'D): You want to say something?The Boy shrugs ALYSSA (CONT'D): Alright-THE BOY: WaitThe urn almost tips over the edge. She waits for him. He walks over and takes the urn and just holds it for a moment. Then he kinda hugs it. Laying his head on it, but turning his head so she can't see what he says: THE BOY (CONT'D, whisper): I'm sorry we're alone[VISUAL]He pours out the ashes. He's gone ALYSSA: How do you feel? Better?THE BOY: I feel...the sameVOICE: HEY!Alyssa and The Boy turn around. It's Alyssa's boyfriend BOYFRIEND: What the fuck, bro?ALYSSA: Oh, so you now you give a fuckShe pushes him back as he takes swipes at The Boy. The Boy is mildly annoyed. They're all yelling at each other BOYFRIEND/THE BOY/ALYSSA: You're dead ass-hole!/ Relax, nothing happened/ Would you stop!The boyfriend breaks free from her BOYFRIEND: Do you know who the fuck I am? ALYSSA: Please don't. Please don't do thisTHE BOY: Nah, man. I don't know who you areBOYFRIEND (CONT'D, scream): WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY! (silence) I. Wrote. That. That's my shit. I'm the nigga dressed like a fox. That's all meTHE BOY: What?The boyfriend starts making the noises a fox makes in the song BOYFRIEND: That!ALYSSA (resigned, to The Boy): Like the song and videoTHE BOY: I've never heard of itALYSSA AND BOYFIREND: What/wha?ALYSSA: I thought you "were the internet"?THE BOY: That's a tagline. No one is the actual internet. I just must've missed it when it was popularBOYFRIEND: Uh, by "when it was popular" do you mean, uhhh, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW?!THE BOY: RelaxBOYFRIEND: Two hundred and twenty million views on Youtube. Two hundred and twenty million. That's most of the earthTHE BOY: Not trueBOYFRIEND: An African village wrote to me-THE BOY: The whole village did?BOYFRIEND: -and told me that my song taught them about foxes. They don't have foxes there. I introduced the idea of a fox to an entire continent...(then) And you wanna fuck my girl?Silence THE BOY: I do not wanna fuck your girl. I don't want to be here. I am going home nowThe Boy walks away. Alyssa and her boyfriend start a boring argument in the cold as he disappearsCUT TO:INT. LA VEGAN RESTAURANT - NIGHTFam, another girl, and The Boy sit in a booth at the restaurant. Fam and the girl are talking. The Boy is silent. Don't know if he's just bored or jet lagged from Sweden. Either way he's bumming everyone out ANOTHER GIRL: My friend should be here soonThe Boy doesn't say anything. Fam and the girl look onA girl walks up to the table. The Boy looks up. It's the girl from the party NAOMI: HiThe Boy doesn't say anything ANOTHER GIRL: This is Naomi. (then) Hello?FAM: He's dumb. You should just sit and ignore himShe sits down NAOMI: You're the guy that almost hit my armTHE BOY: YesNAOMI: You guys order?THE BOY: No. I hate vegan. I think she's making us eat hereNAOMI: I'm the vegan. I asked to eat hereSilence THE BOY: I hate veganNAOMI (saying it dumb): Duhh, "I hate vegan"In his head, he was lol-ing. In real life, he just kinda looked down NAOMI (CONT'D): What's the deal. Why you always act like your parents diedThe Boy smirks THE BOY: They didAwkward. Silence ANOTHER GIRL: I'm so sorryFam and The Boy stare at each other for a moment. Then laugh. Another Girl and Naomi do not FAM (to The Boy): Your parents are dead, manTHE BOY: My parents are dead yoThey slowly stop laughing. Naomi thinks The Boy is weird. But she doesn't runINT. MANSION - NIGHTFam and Another Girl are sitting on the swings smoking and talking about something they will never remember and don't really care aboutNaomi and The Boy sit in the living room NAOMI: What did he do?THE BOY: I don't knowNAOMI: How'd he afford all this?THE BOY: I don't knowNAOMI: Then how can you afford all this? He leave you a lot?THE BOY: Creditors were after him. I don't know if he had anything left. I'm not concerned. (serious) I'm gonna sell drugsNaomi LMAOs NAOMI: WhaaaaaatTHE BOY: Fam can hook me up. I've been watching him for a minute. He runs out of here alreadyNAOMI: I don't think you need me to tell you you're an awful dealerTHE BOY: How would you even know?NAOMI: You make everything feel awkward. You can't connect with anyone. How is anyone supposed to feel like they can trust you?THE BOY: Yeah, that's what drug dealers are known for. Their comfortNAOMI: They are, dumb-ass. You gotta know how people work. You're only good with people onlineHe slowly turns to her. "how does she know that?" NAOMI (CONT'D): I looked you upTHE BOY: After the party or just nowNAOMI: Just now. I'm a writer tooTHE BOY: Oh reallyNAOMI: Yup. And I know I'm good cause people keep stealing my shitShe hits the vape NAOMI (CONT'D): I tweeted this. (holds up her phone) Is that not my poem verbatim? I posted them together. This nigga just rapped this like it was hisTHE BOY (looking at her phone): Your first mistake is being a poet past the year 1974, by the wayNAOMI: That's how good my shit is. I'm bringing the whole form backTHE BOY: You're cocky when you're highNAOMI: No. I'm talkative when I'm high. I'm cocky all the time, but I'm silent for most of it...like youHe looks up. She lifts an eyebrow. He doesn't smile. She goes cross-eyed. No response. She stops, then sighs NAOMI (CONT'D): You ever think we're in hell? This is all hell. Living on earth and being the only ones aware that it's all ending slowlySilence THE BOY: NoNAOMI: I read something that said more than likely we all just do this all again. It's all a cycleTHE BOY: I like that theoryNAOMI: Yeah. (then) See? You're not such a lonely boyShe LOLs and mushes his face with her hand. The Boy smh, but smiles
Songs by Childish Gambino
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