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Kids (Unreleased/Uneditted)
Eminem

And everyone should get along

Okay children quiet down, quiet down

Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day

His name is Mr. Shady, children quiet down please


Brian don't throw that

(Shut up)

Mr. Shady will be your new substitute

While Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia

(He's got aids)

Good luck Mr. Shady


Hi there little boys and girls

(Fuck you)

Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels

But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob


Say hi Bob, Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom

(Hi Bob)

And he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot

But his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot


And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot

And wait in the parkin' lot for waitresses off the clock

When it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog

Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks


And even if they escaped and they got the cops

The ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge

'Til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job

When she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk


But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off

But Bob wouldn't knock it off 'cause he's crazy and off his rocker

Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka

You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a 'Dr.'


He grabbed Stace' by the legs as chopped it off her

And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her

But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander

They never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner


And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana

And what it might do to you

So see if the squirrels want any

It's bad for you


See children, drugs are bad

(C'mon)

And if you don't believe me, ask ya dad

(Ask him man)


And if you don't believe him, ask ya mom

(That's right)

She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time

(She will)


So kids say no to drugs

(That's right)

So you don't act like everyone else does


Then there's really nothin' else to say

(Sing along)

Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?


My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?

Fuck no you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut

Speakin' of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?

Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world


If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it

Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid

And spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back

So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back


Meet Zach, twenty-one years old

After hangin' out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold

And decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys

And peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it


Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyper drive

And his eyes roll back in his skull

His back starts tah, look like the McDonald's Arches

He's on Donald's carpet, layin' horizontal barfin'


And everyone in the apartment starts laughin' at him

Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him

'Cause they took it too, so they think it's funny

So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money



Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over

And his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin' yoga

And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac

So don't even feed that to squirrels class, 'cause it's bad for you


See children, drugs are bad

(That's right)

And if you don't believe me, ask ya dad

(That's right)


And if you don't believe him, ask ya mom

(You can)

She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time

(She will)


So kids say no to drugs

(Smoke crack)

So you don't act like everyone else does

(That's right)


And there's really nothin' else to say

(But umm)

Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?


And last but not least, one of the most humongous

Problems among young people today, is fungus

It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off

Bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it


Yum yum, then you start to see some dumb stuff

And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em

And sometimes you see things that aren't there

(Like what?)

Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair


(Mr. Shady what's a G-string?)

It's yarn Claire

Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em

And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms


Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus

Ya tongue gets, all swallow up like a cow's tongue

(How come?)

'Cause it comes from a cow's dung

(Gross)


See drugs are bad, it's a common fact

But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at

But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.

They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee


And get a disguise and hide, 'cause it'll be my fault

So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't

'Cause I'm bad for you


See children, drugs are bad

And if you don't believe me, ask ya dad

(Put that down)


And if you don't believe him, ask ya mom

(You can ask)

She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time

(And she will)


So kids say no to drugs

(Say no)

So you don't act like everyone else does

(Like I do)


And there's really nothin' else to say

(That's right)

Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?


Come on children, clap along

(Shut up)

Sing along children

(Suck my motherfuckin' dick)


Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad

(South Park is gonna sue me)

So don't do drugs

(Suck my motherfuckin' penis)


So there'll be more for me

(Hippie, Goddammit)

(Mushrooms killed Kenny)

(So, fucked up, right now)


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D-12)   One Shot 2 Shot (Featuring D12)   Open Mic   Open micfeat thyme   Osama Bin Laden Diss   Our House   outkast   Outlet   Outro   Over Freestyle   Parking Lot   Parking Lot (skit)   Part II\   Patiently Waiting   Patiently Waiting (Feat. 50 Cent)   Paul   Paul (First Version)   Paul (Skit)   Paul [Skit (Explicit)]   Paul [Skit]   Paul calls Em   Paul Rosenberg   Paul Rosenberg (Skit)   Paul Rosenburg (Skit)   Paul Skit   Peep Show   Phenomenal   Pick It Up   Pick It Up (Live)   Pills...   Pistol Pistol   Pistol Pistol (Remix)   Pistol pistol remix (Obie Trice)   Pistol Poppin   Places To Go   Places To Go - (50 Cent)   Poo Butt Day   Psycho   Psychopath Killer   Public Enemy #1   Public Enemy #1 [Edited]   Public Enemy Number 1   Public Service Announcement   Public Service Announcement 20   Public Service Announcement 2000   Puke   Purple Hills   Purple Hills [Clean Version]   Purple Pills   Questions and Answers   Quitter   R.A.K.I.M. - (Rakim)   Rabbit In Parking Lot Outside The Chin Tiki   Rabbit Run   Rabbit Run   Rabbit vs Lickilty Split ( 8 Mile Freestlye)   Rabbit vs Lotto ( 8 Mile Freestyle)   Rabbit vs. Papa Doc   Rabbit Vs. Papa Doc (Freestyle From 8 Mile)   Radio   Rain Man   Rap City Freestyle   Rap Game   Rap Game - (D-12 / 50 Cent)   Rap Game (Bump Heads)   Rap Game (Solo Mix)   Rap God   Rap God (french version)   Rap Name - (Obie Trice)   Rap Poets   Rap Superstar   Rapcity Freestyle   Razorblades   real 911   Real Slim Shady   Real Slim Shady [Uncensored Video]   Rejoice   Remember Me   Remember Me?   Renegade   Renegade (Original Underground Version)   Rhyme or Reason   Rhymin' Wordz Freestyle   Richard   Ricky Ticky Toc   Ridaz   Right For Me   Rock Bottom   Rock City   Role Model   Role Model [*]   Roman's Revenge   Roman\u2019s Revenge   Run Rabbit Run   Rush ya Clique   Rush Ya Clique ( With Outsidaz )   Same Song & Dance   Same Song & Dance   Say Goodbye Hollywood   Say Goodbye To Hollywood   Say My Name   Say What You Say   Say What You Say (Jermaine Dupri Diss)   Say what you sayfeat dr dre timberland   Scary Movies   Schooling   Searchin   Searchin'   Second Chance   Seduction   Senate Hearings   Session One   Shady 2.0 (cypher)   Shady Narcotics   Shady Narcotics (Eminem Intro)   Shady Narcotics (Intro)   Shady Narcotics [Edited]   Shady Records Mob Squad   Shady XV   Shady XV Cypher   ShadyXV   Shake That   Shake That (feat. Nate Dogg)   Shake That (Remix)   Shake that ass for me remix   Shake That(fet. Nate Dog)   She A Lie   She's The One   Shit On You   Shit On You ( With D-12 )   Shit on You [#][*]   Shots Fired   Sing For The Moment   Sing for the Moment [Album Version]   Sing for the Moment [DVD]   Sing for the Moment [Multimedia Track]   Ski Mask Way (Eminem Remix)   Slim Santa   Slim Shade EP   Slim Shady   Smack That   Smack That (Remix)   Smack That [Remix]   So Bad   So Far   So Far...   So Far…   So Far…   So Much Better   Soap   Soap (Skit)   Soldier   Soldier (the Goat Remix 1st verse)   Soldier [Multimedia Track]   Soldier Like Me   Space Bound   Spend Some Time   Spit Shine - (Xzibit)   Split Shine   Square Dance   Square Dance [Multimedia Track]   Stan   Stan (clean Version)   Stan (ft. Dido)   Stan (Instrumental)   Stan (Live)   Stan [Director's Cut Video]   Stan [Director's Cut Video][*]   Stan [DVD]   Stan [Explicit]   Stan [Live]   Stan [Multimedia Track]   Stan [radio Edit]   Stan. Feat, Dido   Stay Wide Awake   Step Right Up   Steve Berman   Steve Berman (Skit)   Steve Berman (Skit) (In Album The Eminem Show )   Steve Berman [Skit (Explicit)]   Steve Berman [Skit]   Still Don't Give   Still Don't Give A F***   Still Don't Give a Fuck   Still Shady   Stimulate   Stir Crazy   Stir Crazy ( With Madd Rapper )   Street Lights   Stronger Than I Was   Suck My Dick   Superman   Superman (Radio Edit)   Superman [Multimedia Track]   Supermanfeat dina rea   Survival   Sway In The Morning Freestyle   Sweet Home Alabama   Syllabes   Syllables   Symphony in H   Take From Me   Taking My Ball   Talkin   Talkin' 2 Myself   Talkin' To Myself   Talkin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 2 Myself   Talkin\u2019 All That   Talkin' 2 Myself   Talkin’ 2 Myself   Thankful   That's All She Wrote   That's My Nigga Fo Real   That's My Nigga For Real - (Young Zee)   Thats All She Wrote   The Anthem   The Apple   The Apple (EP)   The Art Of Rap Freestyle   The Bong Song   The Conspiracy Freestyle   The Cypher   The Gay I Am (Way I Am Skit)   The Hills Remix   The Kids   The Kids (Explicit Version)   The Kids [*]   The Kids [Explicit Version][*]   The Kiss   The Kiss (Skit)   The Kiss [Skit]   The Last Hit   The Monster   The Monster (feat. Rihanna)   The Night Before Christmas   The Original   The People's Champ   The People's Champ (Intro)   The Presentation   The Re-Up   The Re-Up [Edited]   The Real Slim Shady   The Real Slim Shady (Instrumental)   The Real Slim Shady [Uncensored Video][*]   The Realest (remix) (feat. 50 Cent & The Notorious...   The Reunion   The Ruler's Back   The Sauce   The Show Down   The Showdown   The Warning   The Way I Am   The Way I Am [Danny Lohner Remix Version][Version]   The Way I Am [DVD]   The Way I Am [Explicit]   The Way I Am [Multimedia Track]   The Way I Am [Uncensored Video][*]   The Way I Am [Unedited Version]   The Weekend - (Brooklyn)   The World Ain't Ready For Me Yet   There He Is   There It Is   There They Go   Things Get Worse   Things Get Worse (EP)   This Is Fucking Bullshit!   This Is My Time   Three Six Five   ThreeSixFive   Threesixfive Featuring Oldworlddisorder   Throitup   Throw It Up   Throw That   Thug Luv   Till Hell Freezes Over   Till I Collapse   Till I Collapse (Remix)   Tim Westwood   Tim Westwood Freestyle   Time Of My Life - (Macy Gray)   Tomorrow's Food   Tonight   Tonite   Tonya   Tonya (Skit)   Tonya [Skit]   Topless   Touchdown   Tour Aftermath   Trapped   Trife Thieves   Tryin' Ta Win   Turn Me Loose   Turn Me Loose ( With Limp Bizkit )   Tv Total Freestyle 2009   Twisted   Tylenol Island   Under the Influence   Underground   Underground/Ken Kaniff   Undergroundken kaniff   Untitled   Untitled Freestyle   Vegas   Venger's A Big Fat Bitch   Violent Rhythm   W.E.G.O.   W.E.G.O. (Interlude)   W.T.P.   W.T.P. Remix   Wake Up Show Freestyle   Wanksta   Wanksta - (50 Cent)   Wanksta (Em's Version)   Wanksta Eminem Freestyle   Wanna Be Me   Wanna Be Me - (Nas)   Warning   Wasting My Time   Wasting My Time - (Bookmat)   Watch Dees   Way I Am   Way I Am [Danny Lohner Remix Ft Marilyn Manson]   Way I Am [Instrumental]   Way I Am [Uncensored Video]   Way I Am, The   Way U Lie, Pt. 2   We Ain't   We All Die 1 Day   We All Die One Day   We All Die Someday   We All Someday   We As Americans   We Don't Give A Fuck   We Made You   We Made You (Remix)   We Made You [Enhanced Video]   We Made You [Instrumental]   We On Fire( Ja Diss)   We Ride For Shady   We Shine   We Shine ( With Da Ruckus )   We The Realest Label   We The Realist Label   We're Back   We're Back [Edited]   We're Still #1 Freestyle   We're Still Number 1 Freestyle   We're the ones that made you   We\u2019re Back   Wee Wee   WEE WEE (EP)   WEGO   Welcome 2 Detroit   Welcome 2 Detroit City   Welcome 2 Hell   Welcome to Detroit City (feat. Trick Trick)   Welcome To Hell   What If He Was White   What If I Was White   What If I Was White?   What The Beat   What You Say   What's Tha Beat   What's the Difference   Whatever You Want   When I'm Gone   When I'm Gone (Edited Version)   When I'm Gone (Explicit Version)   When I'm Gone [Explicit]   When I'm Gone [Multimedia Track]   When I'm Gone   When Im Gone (Remix)   When It Gets Ugly   When The Music Stops   When the Music Stops [Multimedia Track]   When the music stopsfeat d 12   When to Stand Up   When We're Gone   Where I'm At   Where I'm At Solo   White America   White America [Multimedia Track]   White Michael Jordan   White Trash Party (Remix)   Who Knew   Whose Arm Is This   Whose Arm Is This (Freestyle)   Wicked Ways   Wicked Ways [*]   Wicked Ways *   With Out Me   With Smiley (parody of Without me)   Without Me   Without Me (Album Version)   Without Me (Clean Version)   Without Me (Edited Version)   Without Me (in album The Eminem Show )   Without Me (Un-Edited)   Without Me [A Capella Version]   Without Me [Acappella]   Without Me [Album Version]   Without Me [DVD]   Without Me [Instrumental]   Without Me [Multimedia Track]   Won't Back Down   Won't Back Down Feat. Pink   Won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Back Down   Won't Back Down   Words Are Weapons   Writer's Block   Y'all Ready Know   Yellow Brick Road   You Don't Know   You're Never Over   You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re Never Over   You're Never Over   You’Re Never Over   Zane Lowe BBC Radio Interview Part 1   Zane Lowe BBC Radio Interview Part 2   Zucker Im Kaffee

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