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Criminal I
Eminem F/

A lot of people ask me stupid fuckin' questions

A lot of people think that what I say on records

Or what I talk about on a record

That I actually do it in real life or that I believe in it

Or if I say that I wanna kill somebody, that

I'm actually gonna do it or that I believe in it

Well, shit if you believe that then I'll kill you

You know why? 'Cuz I'm a


Criminal

Criminal

You goddamn right

I'm a criminal

Yeah, I'm a criminal


My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge

That'll stab you in the head whether you're a fag or lez

Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest

Pants or dress, hate fags? The answer's, Yes

Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic

Starin' at my jeans, watchin' my genitals bulgin'

That's my motherfuckin' balls, you'd better let go of 'em

They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get a hold of 'em


Hey, it's me, Versace

Whops, somebody shot me!

And I was just checkin' the mail

Get it? Checkin' the 'male'?

How many records you expectin' to sell

After your second LP sends you directly to jail?

C'mon, relax guy, I like gay men

Right, Ken? Give me an Amen

Amen

Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus

Heal this child, help us destroy these demons


Oh, and please send me a brand new car

And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital

Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher

You can't reach me, my mom can't neither

You can't teach me a goddamn thing

'Cause I watch TV and Comcast cable

And you ain't able to stop these thoughts

You can't stop me from toppin' these charts

And you can't stop me from droppin' each March

With a brand new CD for these fuckin' retards

Who?

And to think, it's just little ol' me

Mr. Don't Give A Fuck still won't leave


I'm a criminal

'Cuz every time I write a rhyme

These people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind

I guess I'm a criminal

But I don't gotta say a word

I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'

I don't take shit from no one


I'm a criminal

'Cuz every time I write a rhyme

These people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind

I guess I'm a criminal

I don't gotta say a word

I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'

I don't take shit from no one


My mother did drugs, tar, liquor, cigarettes and speed

The baby came out, disfigured, ligaments indeed

It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she

Don't dare make fun of that baby 'cause that baby was me

I'm a criminal, an animal caged who turned crazed

But how the fuck you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised?

So as I got older and I got a lot taller

My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger


I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker

Than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin' the word

My morals went when the president got oral sex

In his Oval Office on top of his desk off of his own employee

Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me

You can't miss me, I'm white

Blonde-haired and my nose is pointy

I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die

In plane crashes and laughs

As long as it ain't happened to him


Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Eminem and Kim combined

The maniac's in

Replacin' the doctor 'cause Dre couldn't make it today

He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin' his place

Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face


Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place

I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away

I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?

I'm a criminal


Aight look

Uh huh

Just go up in that motherfucker

Get the motherfuckin' money

And get the fuck up outta there

Aight

I'll be right here waitin' on you

Aight

Yo, Em

What?

Don't kill nobody this time

Aw right, goddamn, fuck


Hi

How you doin'?

How can I help you?

Yeah, I need to make a withdrawal

Okay

Put the fuckin' money in the bag, bitch

And I won't kill you

What? Oh my God, don't kill me

I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin' around

Just don't kill me, I have two kids at home

I said, I'm not gonna fuckin' kill you

Don't kill me

Hurry the fuck up

Thank you


Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it

So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it

So I'll be disguised in it

And if anybody identifies the guy in it

I'll hide for five minutes

Come back, shoot the eyewitness

Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business

Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets

This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet


If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts

Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck

You motherfuckin' chickens ain't brave enough

To say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut

Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up

To make you mad, so kiss my white naked ass

And if it's not a rapper that I make it as

I'ma be a fuckin' rapist in a Jason mask


I'm a criminal

'Cuz every time I write a rhyme

These people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind

I guess I'm a criminal

But I don't gotta say a word

I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'

I don't take shit from no one


I'm a criminal

'Cuz every time I write a rhyme

These people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind

I guess I'm a criminal

I don't gotta say a word

I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'

I don't take shit from no one


I'm a criminal

'Cuz every time I write a rhyme

These people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind

I guess I'm a criminal

I don't gotta say a word

I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'

I don't take shit from no one


I'm a criminal

'Cuz every time I write a rhyme

These people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind

I guess I'm a criminal

I don't gotta say a word

I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'

I don't take shit from no one


I'm a criminal


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Lyrics by Eminem F/

  'Til I Collapse [Feat. Nate Dogg]   'Till I Collapse   1) Public Service Announcement 2000   10) I'm Back   11) Marshall Mathers   13) Drug Ballad   14) Amityville   16) Kim   17) Under The Influence   18) Criminal   2) Kill You   3) Stan   3am   5) Who Knew   6) Steve Berman   7) The Way I Am   Any Man (Unreleased)   Anyman   Ass Like That (Produced By Dr. Dre & Mike Elizondo...   Ass Like That (Produced By Dr)   Bitch Please Ll   Bitch Please Part 2   Clean Out My Closet   Cleaning Out My Closet   Crazy In Love (Produced By Eminem)   Eminem - Stan   Eminem - Without Me (Dirty)   Eminem-Cleaning Out My Closet   Eminem-Superman   Evil Deeds (Produced By Dr. Dre)   Get U Mad   Go To Sleep Bitch   Hailey's Song   Haileys Song   I Just Dont Give A Fuck   I Remember (Dedication To Whitey Ford)   I Still Dont Give A Fuck   Ill Shit On U   It's Ok"(feat. Eye-Kyu   Jealousy Woes   Just Don't Give A F*** - Clean Version   Just Lose It (video Verison)   Just Rhymin Wit Mc Proof   Like Toy Soilders   Like Toy Soldiers (Produced By Eminem)   Loose Yourself   Love The You Lie   Marshall Mathers LP   Maxine"(feat. Danaun Porter And 3   Mocking Bird   My Daddy's Gone Crazy   No One's Iller Than Me   No One's Iller Than Me"(feat. Swift, Bizarre & Fuz...   No One's Iller Then Me   Off The Wall"(feat. Redman   Open Mic"(feat. Thyme   Public Service Announcement 20   Remember Me (Featuring RBX And Sticky Fingaz)   Say Good Bye To Hollywood   Say What U Say   Say What You Say"(feat. Dr. Dre & Timberland   Searchin'"(feat. Danaun Porter   Shit On U   Spend Some Time (Featuring Obie Trice, Stat Quo & ...   Stan. Feat, Dido   Steve Berman (Skit) [The Eminem Show Abum]   Steve Berman (Skit) [The Marshall Mathers LP]   Sweet Home Alabama Freestyle From 8 Mile   The Beginning Of Lose Your Self   Underground/Ken Kaniff   What If He Was White   When The Music Stops [Feat. D12]   Without Me (Edited)   Without Me (in Album The Eminem Show )   Without Me (Un-Edited)   Withoutme

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