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Because The Internet Screenplay - Part 4
Childish Gambino

[VISUAL PLAYING DEATH BY NUMBERS]

*******[PLAY SONG FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR AT THIS POINT]*******

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

[VISUAL]

The Boy wakes up. He's in a gown. His eyes feel heavy. The TV is on in his room. Golden Girls to be specific. One of the ladies just said something funny cause there's a lot of laughter

Sitcom laughs always freaked him out. Because most of those people are dead. Those are ghost laughs. Laughs that are supposed to be gone forever linger on earth after every mid 90s joke about teenage sex or someone saying don't go there. Looking for their mouths, never finding them because they're gone. The laughs don't feel good because they're dead laughs. Those laughs aren't what they stood for anymore. They've been reappropriated. Now they're just sounds monkey descendants make when amused to cue other monkey descendants when to make the sounds at home

...my eyes feel heavy

A nurse comes in

WHITE GUY NURSE: Hello Mr.[EDIT]. How are you feeling?

THE BOY: Like I'm about to get talked to by someone about- (gestures) All this

Nurse gives a yep look

WHITE GUY NURSE: You're friends brought you in-

THE BOY: They're not my friends

WHITE GUY NURSE: I don't think they'd like you saying that

THE BOY: Doesn't matter. It's the truth. But also, they know. We're not friends. There's a mutual benefit to our relationship, but I can't trust them for shit

WHITE GUY NURSE: Then why save you?

THE BOY: Cause their lives are far easier with me around. It's survival

WHITE GUY NURSE: I think you should talk to someone

THE BOY: We're talking

WHITE GUY NURSE: A professional

THE BOY: Why? You don't care. You're not gonna make sure I do. (then) Our lives aren't precious, man

Silence. The Nurse begins to clean up

WHITE GUY NURSE: You done?

THE BOY: I was trying to be

WHITE GUY NURSE: No you weren't. Cause, guess what? It's not hard to do

Nurse leaves

INT. WAITING ROOM - LATER THAT DAY

The Boy walks out of the double doors. Steve, Swank, and Fam are sitting there. They look up wearily

THE BOY: I don't wanna talk. Let's just go be awkward and quiet together at Chipotle. Alright?

They all just stare. Swank gets up slowly and walks over

SWANK: Man...we didn't know if we should wait or tell you later, man

The Boy makes a [WHAT? EMOJI] face

SWANK (CONT'D): Man...your pops died, man. Got the call

Silence

THE BOY: Okay

(hum of a jet engine...)

*******[PLAY SONG ZEALOTS OF STOCKHOLM AT THIS POINT]*******

INT. JET PLANE - EVENING

The Boy lays his head against the plane window, the oil from his hair leaving grease smudges all over the window

His father died in Stockholm. A family member was needed. Didn't realize that they were each other's only family til this very moment. When you lose that, you basically lose most of your memories, at least the accuracy of your own memories

He wanted to be cremated

The Boy didn't really know anyone in Stockholm, but he also didn't want to be in his hotel room with his father for a day. Even if he was just ashes. So he decided to search through his followers for someone from Sweden

Some girl named Hello_Pity_ Dm'd him back and they were supposed to meet up after all the whatever he had to do. Her profile bio said she was half french. She looked pretty in her avi: an inverted Hello Kitty. But that really doesn't mean anything at all, especially since her instagram was blocked, which is something he's learned not to trust at all

So he looked through her tweets, figured out a night she went to a club, used one of his dummy profiles and pretended that they'd met at the club that night. She had trouble remembering because, according to her feed, she was fuckin turnt, [CRAZY TONGUE OUT EMOJI] lol. She added this made up dude as a friend on Facebook. Now The Boy could see her pictures

The rest of her pictures confirmed she was indeed pretty

This girl loves Justin Bieber though. New Justin Bieber. The fuck you Bieber. She loves Justin Bieber in the way you love that girl on Maury who's like my favorite flavor popsicle is DICK!, which is close to sincere love, but nowhere near it at the same time

INT. STRANGE OFFICE - NIGHT

The Boy is sitting at a desk, across from a solemn man. An urn sits on the left side of the desk

The man slides it over to The Boy

SOLEMN MAN: I'm sorry for your loss

Silence. Don't you have to ask someone before you cremate their father? I don't know how these things work

SOLEMN MAN (CONT'D): These were found with him

He gives The Boy a large brown paper bag

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

The Boy vapes on the foot of his bed. He's DMing back and forth with Hello_Pity_ whose real name is Alyssa

thegoldmolar: where u at

Hello_Pity_: bar called box. meet u here?

thegoldmolar: yeah

Hello_Pity_: u should meet my boyfriend. he loves you

Weird

thegoldmolar: sure

Hello_Pity_: [CRYING LAUGH EMOJI] LOL. Don't worry. It's not like that

thegoldmolar: wdym

Hello_Pity_: [CRAZY TONGUE OUT EMOJI] see u soon

He puts his phone down

EXT. STOCKHOLM STREETS - NIGHT

There's a buzz going on. Very pretty people walk hand in hand on the street. There are people saying things, giving opinions, feeling interesting. Everyone has a purpose tonight. It's a great time

A couple walk by:

SUPER HANDSOME GUY: Swedish blah blah blah roscoe's wetsuit hahahaha!

SUPER PRETTY GIRL: blah blah, swedish blah blah roscoe's wetsuit!

The Boy walks up to a pink, glowing, but very discreet sign that says box. There's a big bald guy standing outside with no hat. There's steam coming off his head

A girl is standing outside smoking, at least trying to. She can't seem to get the cigarette lit. It's Alyssa

THE BOY: Hey

ALYSSA: Ah! It's you

She gives him a kiss on both cheeks

ALYSSA (CONT'D): Fancy meeting you like this, huh?

THE BOY: I don't know what you mean

She puts out her cigarette. After two big puffs

ALYSSA: Let's go

THE BOY: Didn't you want me to meet your boyfriend?

ALYSSA: Who? That guy?

She points to a corner of the building, a few steps from the front. A guy with long blonde hair (her boyfriend?)is making out with a girl in the cold

THE BOY: What am I getting into?

ALYSSA: Nothing. You're getting into nothing

CUT TO:

EXT. STOCKHOLM STREETS - CONTINUOUS

The Boy and Alyssa walk slowly through the streets. It's very cold, so they're the only ones doing that

ALYSSA: What made you DM me?

THE BOY: I don't know anyone here

ALYSSA: Then why are you here?

THE BOY: My dad died. I have to pick him up

ALYSSA: R O U G H. How?

THE BOY: Doesn't matter at this point

ALYSSA: I know right? It's always how'd he die? Like if you know all the ways, you'll avoid it. Silly

She shivers

ALYSSA (CONT'D): I don't believe in small talk. What's the longest relationship you've been in?

THE BOY: Five years

ALYSSA: Wow. What happened?

THE BOY: I'm still in it

ALYSSA: Oh?

THE BOY: She does private web shows. We're not together. But it's a relationship, for sure

ALYSSA: I don't get it

THE BOY: I used to watch her online a while back. Then she quit and started doing private shows. Then it just started turning into talking. Mostly

ALYSSA: Wooooaah

THE BOY: Wha?

ALYSSA: You're paying her to be your girlfriend or friend or whatever

THE BOY: Yes. But most people are paying for friends one way or another

ALYSSA: No

THE BOY: Your boyfriend is making out with another girl right now. You don't really have room to judge

ALYSSA: I trust that I can never trust him. We're clear on that

THE BOY: Then why have him at all?

ALYSSA: Because he's honest. And I like that. He doesn't lie to either of us. That's special to me

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

[VISUAL]

The two are sitting on the bed staring at the urn on the table

ALYSSA: So that's your dad

THE BOY: That's my dad. That's what's left of him

ALYSSA: You guys close?

THE BOY: No

ALYSSA: You wanna talk about it

THE BOY: No

Silence

THE BOY (CONT'D): I'm going to make a drink

ALYSSA: Alright

The Boy gets up and goes into the living room. While he's in there, Alyssa gets up, takes the urn, and walks out of the room. The Boy hears the door slam

THE BOY: Alyssa?

CUT TO:

*******[PLAY SONG URN AT THIS POINT]*******

EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT

The Boy runs out of the front doors. His breath, clouding in the night. He looks both ways and catches Alyssa turning a corner. He runs to the corner and meets her on the other side

THE BOY: What's going on

ALYSSA: Let's get rid of it. It's just bad for you

THE BOY: You have a TON of nerve judging me and my father's relationship, so much so, you just walk out with his ashes? I feel like what you're doing is against the law, but much like the fact he was cremated before I arrived, I don't know if it's illegal. I'm still pissed though

ALYSSA: We're gonna do this together

The Boy is pissed. He's trying not to blow up

ALYSSA (CONT'D): I had a sister. I did this when she died

THE BOY: Yes. That gives you the right

Alyssa digs in her pocket and pulls out her phone. She turns it on and the background is Alyssa and a girl that looks exactly like her. The Boy takes the phone

THE BOY (CONT'D): Twins

ALYSSA: Yes

THE BOY: I know we agreed that it's dumb to ask since we're all headed that way anyway, but-

ALYSSA: Brain cancer. It was bad

Silence

ALYSSA (CONT'D): So crazy

She LOLs. They're still walking this entire time. They stop at the water. They stand there making small clouds for a moment

ALYSSA (CONT'D): You want to say something?

The Boy shrugs

ALYSSA (CONT'D): Alright-

THE BOY: Wait

The urn almost tips over the edge. She waits for him. He walks over and takes the urn and just holds it for a moment. Then he kinda hugs it. Laying his head on it, but turning his head so she can't see what he says:

THE BOY (CONT'D, whisper): I'm sorry we're alone

[VISUAL]

He pours out the ashes. He's gone

ALYSSA: How do you feel? Better?

THE BOY: I feel...the same

VOICE: HEY!

Alyssa and The Boy turn around. It's Alyssa's boyfriend

BOYFRIEND: What the fuck, bro?

ALYSSA: Oh, so you now you give a fuck

She pushes him back as he takes swipes at The Boy. The Boy is mildly annoyed. They're all yelling at each other

BOYFRIEND/THE BOY/ALYSSA: You're dead ass-hole!/ Relax, nothing happened/ Would you stop!

The boyfriend breaks free from her

BOYFRIEND: Do you know who the fuck I am?

ALYSSA: Please don't. Please don't do this

THE BOY: Nah, man. I don't know who you are

BOYFRIEND (CONT'D, scream): WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY! (silence) I. Wrote. That. That's my shit. I'm the nigga dressed like a fox. That's all me

THE BOY: What?

The boyfriend starts making the noises a fox makes in the song

BOYFRIEND: That!

ALYSSA (resigned, to The Boy): Like the song and video

THE BOY: I've never heard of it

ALYSSA AND BOYFIREND: What/wha?

ALYSSA: I thought you were the internet?

THE BOY: That's a tagline. No one is the actual internet. I just must've missed it when it was popular

BOYFRIEND: Uh, by when it was popular do you mean, uhhh, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW?!

THE BOY: Relax

BOYFRIEND: Two hundred and twenty million views on Youtube. Two hundred and twenty million. That's most of the earth

THE BOY: Not true

BOYFRIEND: An African village wrote to me-

THE BOY: The whole village did?

BOYFRIEND: -and told me that my song taught them about foxes. They don't have foxes there. I introduced the idea of a fox to an entire continent...(then) And you wanna fuck my girl?

Silence

THE BOY: I do not wanna fuck your girl. I don't want to be here. I am going home now

The Boy walks away. Alyssa and her boyfriend start a boring argument in the cold as he disappears

CUT TO:

INT. LA VEGAN RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Fam, another girl, and The Boy sit in a booth at the restaurant. Fam and the girl are talking. The Boy is silent. Don't know if he's just bored or jet lagged from Sweden. Either way he's bumming everyone out

ANOTHER GIRL: My friend should be here soon

The Boy doesn't say anything. Fam and the girl look on

A girl walks up to the table. The Boy looks up. It's the girl from the party

NAOMI: Hi

The Boy doesn't say anything

ANOTHER GIRL: This is Naomi. (then) Hello?

FAM: He's dumb. You should just sit and ignore him

She sits down

NAOMI: You're the guy that almost hit my arm

THE BOY: Yes

NAOMI: You guys order?

THE BOY: No. I hate vegan. I think she's making us eat here

NAOMI: I'm the vegan. I asked to eat here

Silence

THE BOY: I hate vegan

NAOMI (saying it dumb): Duhh, I hate vegan

In his head, he was lol-ing. In real life, he just kinda looked down

NAOMI (CONT'D): What's the deal. Why you always act like your parents died

The Boy smirks

THE BOY: They did

Awkward. Silence

ANOTHER GIRL: I'm so sorry

Fam and The Boy stare at each other for a moment. Then laugh. Another Girl and Naomi do not

FAM (to The Boy): Your parents are dead, man

THE BOY: My parents are dead yo

They slowly stop laughing. Naomi thinks The Boy is weird. But she doesn't run

INT. MANSION - NIGHT

Fam and Another Girl are sitting on the swings smoking and talking about something they will never remember and don't really care about

Naomi and The Boy sit in the living room

NAOMI: What did he do?

THE BOY: I don't know

NAOMI: How'd he afford all this?

THE BOY: I don't know

NAOMI: Then how can you afford all this? He leave you a lot?

THE BOY: Creditors were after him. I don't know if he had anything left. I'm not concerned. (serious) I'm gonna sell drugs

Naomi LMAOs

NAOMI: Whaaaaaat

THE BOY: Fam can hook me up. I've been watching him for a minute. He runs out of here already

NAOMI: I don't think you need me to tell you you're an awful dealer

THE BOY: How would you even know?

NAOMI: You make everything feel awkward. You can't connect with anyone. How is anyone supposed to feel like they can trust you?

THE BOY: Yeah, that's what drug dealers are known for. Their comfort

NAOMI: They are, dumb-ass. You gotta know how people work. You're only good with people online

He slowly turns to her. how does she know that?

NAOMI (CONT'D): I looked you up

THE BOY: After the party or just now

NAOMI: Just now. I'm a writer too

THE BOY: Oh really

NAOMI: Yup. And I know I'm good cause people keep stealing my shit

She hits the vape

NAOMI (CONT'D): I tweeted this. (holds up her phone) Is that not my poem verbatim? I posted them together. This nigga just rapped this like it was his

THE BOY (looking at her phone): Your first mistake is being a poet past the year 1974, by the way

NAOMI: That's how good my shit is. I'm bringing the whole form back

THE BOY: You're cocky when you're high

NAOMI: No. I'm talkative when I'm high. I'm cocky all the time, but I'm silent for most of it...like you

He looks up. She lifts an eyebrow. He doesn't smile. She goes cross-eyed. No response. She stops, then sighs

NAOMI (CONT'D): You ever think we're in hell? This is all hell. Living on earth and being the only ones aware that it's all ending slowly

Silence

THE BOY: No

NAOMI: I read something that said more than likely we all just do this all again. It's all a cycle

THE BOY: I like that theory

NAOMI: Yeah. (then) See? You're not such a lonely boy

She LOLs and mushes his face with her hand. The Boy smh, but smiles


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Lyrics by Childish Gambino

  Flight Of The Navigator   Shadows   Telegraph Ave   The Crawl   The Worst Guys   3005   3005 [Explicit]   49ers (Orange Shirt)   5 Fingers Of Death   All Of The Lights   All The Shine   All Yall   American Royalty   Arrangement   Asian Girls Everywhere   AssShots (Remix)   AssShots (Remix) Feat. R O Y A L T Y   Baby Boy   Backpackers   Be Alone   Because The Internet Screenplay - Part 3   Because The Internet Screenplay - Part 5   Bitch Look at Me Now (Two Weeks)   Bitch, Look At Me Now (Two Weeks)   Black Faces   Black Faces ('Black Faces' Mixtape)   Body   Bonfire   Bonfire (Single)   Boogieman   Both Hands (Black Rainbow)   Break   Break (All of the Lights)   Bronchitis   California   Candler Road   Centipede   Childish Gambino @ The Atrium   Childish Gambino 3005 Off of his sophomore album '...   childish gambino is a white rapper   Crawl   Death By Numbers   Dial Up   Difference   Different   Different (Feel It All Around)   Do Ya Like   Dream \/ Southern Hospitality \/ Partna Dem   Dream Southern/Hospitality/Partna Dem   Drexel University Performance   Earth: The Oldest Computer   Eat Your Vegetables   FDB Remix   Fire Fly   Firefly   Flight Of The Navigator   For the Fans (Warm Heart of Africa)   Freaks And Geeks   Freestyle (Diss)   Fuck It All   Fuck Your Blog   Fucks Given   Get It (Tightrope)   Get Like Me   Glory   Go DJ   Got This Money   Grind   Have Some Love   Heartbeat   Hero   Hold You Down   I Be On That   I Can Hear Your Feet (Sunrise)   I Got This Money   I Love Clothes (Deadbeat Summer)   I. Crawl   I. Flight of the Navigator   I. It all starts with \u201cThat Power\u201d and \...   I. pink toes   I. The Crawl   I. The Party   I. The worst guys   I. the worst guys (feat. Chance The Rapper)   I'm On It   II. earth: The oldest computer (The last night)   II. no exit   II. shadows   II. Shadows [Explicit]   II. worldstar   II. Worldstar [Explicit]   II. zealots of stockholm (free information)   III. Life: The Biggest Troll   III. life: The biggest troll (andrew auernheimer)   III. Telegraph Ave.   III. Telegraph Ave. (   III. urn   It May Be Glamour Life   It May Be Glaour Life   It's On   IV. Sweatpants   IV. Sweatpants [Explicit]   Kids   Kids (Keep Up)   L.E.S.   Late Night In Kauai   Late Night in Kauai (feat. Jaden Smith)   Let Me Dope You   Letter Home   Life: the biggest troll   Lights Turned On   Love Is Crazy   Make It Go Right   Me and Your Mama   Melrose   Money Baby   More Than Normal   Move That Dope \/ Nextel Chirp \/ Let Your Hair Bl...   Move That Dope/Nectel Chirp/Let Your Hair Blow Fea...   My Girls (My Girls)   My Hoodie   My Shine   New Prince (Crown on the Ground)   No Exit   No Small Talk Feat. Kari Faux   Not Going Back   One Up   Open Letter On Instagram   Outside   Penn State Live Performance (Sophomore Album)   Phat People   Pink Toes   Playing Around Before the Party Starts   Poke   Poke (feat. Steve G Lover)   Pop Thieves   Pop Thieves (Make It Feel Good)   Pound Cake   Pound Cake (Sway In The Morning Freestyle)   Put It In My Video   R.I.P   R.I.P.   Real Estate   Redbone   Regular Show   Retro   Retro (rough)   Retro [ROUGH]   Riot   Rolling In The Deep   Rolling in the Deep (Jamie xX Remix ft. Childish G   Rosenberg Freestyle   Royalty   Secret Track   Secret Track (3005 Part 2)   Secret Track (3005 Picnic Version)   Shadows   Shoulda Known   Silk Pillow   So Fly   Sober   Sour Face   Sour Faces   Stand Tall   Starlight   Sunrise   Sunshine   Sweatpants   Telegraph Ave   Tell Me   Terrified   That Power   The Crawl   The Last   The Library   The Library (Intro)   The Longest Text Message   The Palisades   The Palisades (feat. Christian Rich)   The Palisades Feat. Christian Rich   The Party   The Real (Infinity Guitars)   The Stand   The Switch   The Truth (Goth Star)   The Worst Guys   These Girls   These Girls ft Garfunkel and Oates   They Don't Like Me   They Don\u2019t Like Me   They Don't Like Me   Think Of Me   Tim Westwood Freestyle 2013   Toronto Listening Party Track   Toxic   Twistclip Loop (Freestyle)   U Don't Have to Call   Unnecessary   Unnecessary ('Black Faces' Mixtape)   Untouchable   Urn   V. 3005   V. 3005 (Beach Picnic Version)   Waiting For My Moment   We Ain't Them ('Black Faces' Mixtape)   We Ain\u2019t Them   We Flexin   What kind of love   Won't Stop   Won\u2019t Stop   Won't Stop   Won’t Stop   Wonderful   Woodie Awards Freestyle   Worldstar   Yaphet Kotto   Yes   You Know Me   You See Me   Zealots Of Stockholm   Zealots of Stockholm (Free Information)   Zombies

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