✌(-‿-)✌ try SpankViral.com daily viral videos

Absolutely Positively.....Practical Jokes
MC Lyte

I play practical jokes just to get a laugh

I put roaches in my neighbor's bubblebath

But anyway, one day she called upon me

She said, Lyte, it's an emergency


My next door neighbor had an errand to run

I said, Why Ms. Davis, ask your son

She said, Ricky's at his grandmother's

I said, Well, what about Tommy, the younger brother?


She said, See, umm, he's at the pharmacy

I said, He'll be back soon how much longer could it be?

She said, C'mon, please, it's just a trip uptown

If you leave right now, you'll be back before sundown


Hurry up, there's not a moment to spare

It absolutely positively has to get there

Umm, I contemplated then I played a good Samaritan

Started the car, then she threw the package in


It absolutely, positively has to get there

It absolutely, positively has to get there

It absolutely, positively has to get there

It absolutely, positively got to get there


Pumpin' out the music on the FDR

Not far behind me was a DT car

So I eased up selector, 55 the digit

But on the FDR, 40 is the limit


Here they come, sirens on

I could see myself in jail 'til the break of dawn

But they rolled right by, it wasn't me they was after

A little red corvette, they was tryin' to capture


Dread I feel sweat so I set down my jacket

Look up ahead, now that's what I call traffic

Dipped to an exit and I made my way through

Couldn't believe when I hit First Avenue


On a Honda's ass, just about to crash

Looked at the gauge and the shit said no gas

Zero, nada, nothing in here, see

In car terms the shit was on empty


Got out and pushed the shit to the side

Hailed a cab then I caught a quick ride

To the house of inflation, yes, the gas station

Gave a little tip to show my appreciation



Got back to the ave where I left my car

It wasn't there but it couldn't have gone far

Damn, I must have got towed

Tried to figure out how much money I owed


Went to the pound and I paid my debt

Think that was the worst, you ain't heard nothin' yet

Bumped into that crackhead Sam, I used to see

And like always, hand out, give me money

In my tank was a dollar's worth of gas I had to get to a nice machine fast


It absolutely, positively has to get there

It absolutely, positively got to get there

It absolutely, positively got to get there

It absolutely, positively has to get there


As I left the bank to walk back to the BM

Couldn't believe what my eyes were seein'

Looked at the back tire, it was flat

While the other three were so damn fat


A brother walked by and offered his help

Ordinarily I woulda did the shit myself

But he changed it quick, so I passed him a ten

Here I go on this journey again


Went to the gas station to fill it up

When a crackhead from nowhere grabbed the pump

I said, Look, I don't need your help today

And I scared the motherfucker and he was on his way


Oops, a cat, shit, scrat

Fur on my tires and all that

What's this, a stroke of bad luck?

But at this point, I don't even give a fuck


I got to get the package to the destination

No matter what the confrontation

I arrive, bag in my hand

Lookin' for a woman named Pam


She opened the bag, it was wrapped tight and snug

But in that bag, yo, in that bag

45, guess what, it was a box of Q-tips

A box of fuckin' Q-tips, man


  Purchase "Absolutely Positively.....Practical Jokes"   Purchase Entire Album   Email Video to Friends   Play Youtube "Absolutely Positively.....Practical Jokes" Video   Play Spotify "Absolutely Positively.....Practical Jokes" Song   View Wikipedia "Absolutely Positively.....Practical Jokes" Entry   Receive Emails for Future MC Lyte Lyrics

Email:

  Link to "Absolutely Positively.....Practical Jokes"   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Lyrics For You
👕 Try MeTee.com: publish meme shirts in seconds and earn a commission forever

Lyrics by MC Lyte

  10% Dis   2 Young 4 What   40 Days featuring StayC Reign   A Film Called (Pimp)   Absolutely Positively..... Practical Jokes   Act Like You Know   Ain't No Other   All That   Another Dope Intro   Ball featuring Lil’ Mama & AV   Beyond the Hype   Big Bad Sister   Bklyn (Live That)   Bomb Wild Out featuring AV   Break It Down   Brooklyn   Can You Dig It   Cappuccino   Cappucino   Cha Cha Cha   Check   Closer   Cold Rock a Party   Cold Rock A Party (mc Lyte Main Version)   Cold Rock A Party (milk Remix)   Cold Rock a Party (Remix)   Cold Rock a Party [Bad Boy Remix]   Cold Rock a Party [Radio Edit Clean][Mix]   Cold Rock a Party [Radio Edit][Mix][Version]   Cold Rock a Party 9Bad Boy Remix]   Come On   Come On [Instrumental][Version]   Come On [Remix Instrumental TV Track][Instrumental...   Cravin’ featuring Stan Carrizosa   Curious   Dear John   Dear John featuring Common & 10Beats   Don't Cry Big Girls   Druglord Superstar   Everyday   Eyes Are the Soul   Fighting Temptation   Fire   For All the Years   Give Me What I Want   God Said Lyte   God Said Lyte (A Cappella Version)   Hard Copy   Have U Ever   I Am the Lyte   I Am Woman   I Can't Make a Mistake   I Cram to Understand U   I Cram to Understand U [1990][*]   I Like   I Wanna Be Down [Remix]   I Wanna Be Down [The Human Rhythm Hip Hop Remix]   I Want Your (Hands on Me)   In My Business   It's All Yours   Jam for the Ladies [*][Multimedia Track]   Just Call Me Joe   K - Rock's The Man   K-Rock's The Man   Kamikaze   Keep It Movin'   Keep On Keepin On   Keep On, Keepin' On   Kickin' 4 Brooklyn   Last Time featuring Faith Evans & Coko   Like a Virgin   Like That Anna   Lola from The Copa   Love On Me featuring Kenny Lattimore   Lyte as a Rock   Lyte Tha Emcee Pt. 2   Mash Out   Maybe I Deserve   MC Lyte Likes Swingin'   Mickey Slipper   Mickey Slipper (Interlude)   Not Wit' a Dealer   One for the Cuties   One on One   Paper Thin   Party Goin' On   Phone Check 1 Interlude   Phone Check 2 Interlude   Phone Check 3 Interlude   Phone Check 4 Interlude Outro   Please Understand   Poor Georgie   Psalms 23   Psalms 23 [Album Version] [Version]   Ride Wit Me   Ride Wit Me (Clean Edit)   Ruffneck   Search 4 the Lyte   Shut The Eff Up!   Shut the Eff Up! (Hoe)   Slave 2 The Rhythm   Steady Fucking   Stop, Look, Listen   Survival of the Fittest   Survival of the Fittest (Remix)   Take It Off   The Rap Game   Throwin' Words At U   Top Billin'   TRG (The Rap Game)   U Can't Stop It   U Got It   Want What I Got   We Here Now featruing Mario   What Ya'll Want   What's My Name Yo   When in Love   Woo Woo (Freak Out)

Related Songs

  Absolutely Positively (Moto Blanco Remix)...  Relativity - The Magnetic Fields  Absolutely Positively - Anastacia  Absolutely Positively [Moto Blanco Radio][*]...  Absolutely Positively - Bonniwell Music Machine  Thanks For Nothing - Dope  SUNNY DISPOSISH - Manhattan Transfer  As Mayor of the Munchkin City - Wizard Of Oz  Ascot Gavotte - My Fair Lady  Catacombs - Lefay  Taking It Back - Cord  Before She Does - Eric Church  Rock Me (All Nite Long) - Gerald Levert  Rock Me - Gerald Levert  Did I Fool Ya? - Jason Mraz  Did I Fool Ya (Live) - Jason Mraz  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Somewhere - Melanie C  Gone for Real - Charlie Daniels  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Positively Animal - It Bites  Cold War - Devo  Cold War [Demo Alternate Version][Mix] - Devo  The Greatest Practical Joke - See What I Wanna See  Autumn Song - Dark Side Cowboys  No Sex (in the Champagne Room) - Chris Rock  Practical Amanda - Ben Folds & Nick Hornby  Practical Amanda - Ben Folds  People Will Say We're In Love - Oscar Hammerstein  People Will Say We're In Love...  Jokes - Craig Cardiff  Practical - Big Japan  Car Jamming - Clash  Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead! - Wizard Of Oz  Practical arrangment - Sting  Automatic - Stellar Kart  Fly Around My Pretty Little Miss - Built to Spill  Turn On The Lite-Brites - Tim Seely  Piccadilly - Adam Ant  I'm Your Man - Steve Wariner  Would You Be My Girlfriend - MYMP  Positively Radical - Tobacco  Absolutely - Eurogliders  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  The Heart of My Stupefaction - Wimp Factor 14  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  No Sex - Chris Rock  Adored - Miranda Cosgrove  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Everybody - Ayla Brown  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  Absolutely Nothing - Lily Allen  People Will Say We’re In Love - Ray Charles  Mad Hatter - Lynyrd Skynyrd  People Will Say We're In Love - Ray Charles  People Will Say We're In Love...  People Will Say We're in Love - Nancy Wilson  River to Consider - White Denim  Bishop=Handjob - TISM  People Will Say We\'re In Love...  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  Bizarro Me - The Roy Clark Method  People Will Say We're in Love...  People Will Say We're in Love - Peggy Lee  People Will Say We're in Love - Sammy Davis Jr.  People Will Say We're In Love - Various Artists  people from the forrest - St. Thomas  Cokie The Clown - NOFX  People Will Say We're in Love - Bennie Green  People Will Say We're In Love...  Positively Bodies Parking Lot...  Angles - Mick Jenkins  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  Bishop = Handjob - TISM  People Will Say We're in Love - Ray Charles  People Will Say We're in Love - Robert Palmer  (Only) Halfway to Everywhere (Disc 01)...  (Only) Half Way To Everywhere - The Black Crowes  (Only) Halfway to Everywhere - The Black Crowes  I Do - Edie Brickell & New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  Absolutely Not (Radio Edit) - Deborah Cox  Practical Arrangement - Branford Marsalis Quartet  I Do - Edie Brickell  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  Positively 5th Street - Art Brut  Working in a Goldmine - Aztec Camera  Practical Arrangement (Full Original Duet) - Sting  absolutely nothing - East River Pipe  Only Halfway To Everywhere - Black Crowes  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  I Do - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians  Heigh-Ho - Diana Ross  Heigh-Ho - The Supremes  Absolutely - Starfield  Absolutely - Donnis  Absolutely - Charlie Wilson  Absolutely - Gareth Gates  Absolutely - Toro Y Moi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Anything And Anything At All...  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Amorosi Vanessa  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Absolutely Everybody - Vanessa Amorosi  Culture shock - Olivia Newton-John